I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
