I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
