Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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