At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
