yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
