pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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