Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
