You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's not a walk of shame if you run
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I love you.
Bad choice
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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