He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
