Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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