I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
