im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
