Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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