I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
