put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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