we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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