That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
