I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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