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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Aren't you in 8th grade?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  9th, but that's not the point.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!

  (404): View more from Georgia

  you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Mischief managed.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol

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