I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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