The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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