Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
