I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
