no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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