Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

hotel room ftw

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(352): View more from Florida

New low: just hacked my moms facebook

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.

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(757): View more from Virginia

tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone

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(630): View more from Illinois

This is a rough morning for me

(577): View more from

No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.

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(626): View more from California

Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.

(1-626): View more from California

I see you met someone special

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(518): View more from New York

I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.

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