The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
