I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
