I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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