so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
