I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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