Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish you could order shots online.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
