So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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