worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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