I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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