You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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