I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
