I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
