i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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