Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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