all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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