Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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