Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
