I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize