We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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