i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
