Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
