Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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