just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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