i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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