You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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