Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
