Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
