i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
