Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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