so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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