Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
