Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
