census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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