Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
