Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
