Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
