Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
