wakey wakey hands off snakey
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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