He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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