I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
