Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
A+ Viking dick
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
