and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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